How do you chat up women? I am hopeless!

[chartescorts]

How? I have no ideas!

[Project-Shadow]

If you're a bro you flash your bro card, and the chip placed in all women at birth goes off and you're in there... if not well you're a bit fucked.

[CurrentlySober]

Club them over the head, and drag them by thier hair back to the cave...
My mates Fred and Barney taught me that !

[Iron Fist]

Originally Posted by Project-Shadow

if not well you're a bit fucked.

I'll vote for door number two Monty.

[polish_aristocrat]

You run an escort site and you ask this question?

[Damian_Maxcash]

Tell them you are gay - then tell them you would like to try str8 sex once - just to see what it is like - women love converting gay guys.

Its like gay guys that always want to convert str8 ones - its wanting what you cant have.

[Marshal]

Originally Posted by damian2001

Tell them you are gay - then tell them you would like to try str8 sex once - just to see what it is like - women love converting gay guys.

Its like gay guys that always want to convert str8 ones - its wanting what you cant have.

i've always wanted to convert two lesbians - in a pair!

[Jarmusch]

I usually go like..

"Hey baby, wanna do it? uh huh uh uh huh"

[Damian_Maxcash]

Originally Posted by nettrust

i've always wanted to convert two lesbians - in a pair!

lol - I'm not sure the logic works in that scenario - in fact its making my head hurt thinking about it.

[LadyMischief]

Be yourself and be confident.. Women are attracted by confidence and feeding them cheesy lines or anything like that will make you like the 50 other chumps who chatted them up

[Sexxy Blue]

Silly men...always ask the woman questions about herself..she loves to share things about her....

but yes i do love a to convert a queer....heheheheee

[Scootermuze]

Here ya go...

All you'll ever need to get the chicks.. the babes.. the hotties..

[corbu]

yeah that always helps!
ask them about themselves!

[Spunky]

Whip out the big baboski

[CDSmith]

Just do what Quagmire does. Walk up to them and say ---


*Lets let only latex stand between our love

*You look like my next girlfriend

*Lie down I think I love you

*I'm an organ donor, need anything?

*If I were you I'd do me

*My feet are getting cold cause you knocked my socks off

*If I said you had a beatiful body would you hold it against me?

*Do you believe in love at first sight? If not I'll walk by again.

*Hi, I make more money then you can spend

*That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed

*Nice pants, can I test the zipper.

*Hi, I'm Mr Right, Someone said you were looking for me.

*OH! Sorry I thought that was a braille name tag.

*Beauty is only a light switch away.

*Can I see your tan lines?

*Can you count? Then you better count on spending the night

*Nice dress. Can I talk you out of it.

*I think I'd fall madly in bed with you.


OTHER USEFUL QUAGMIRISMS:


"18? You're first."

"Glen honey, I got a question for you. What do you do for a living?
"I got a question for you. Why are you still here?"

"Fat chicks need love too...they just have to pay!"

"Really? After I drugged you and had sex with your unconscious body?"

"I've never had a Spanish chick before! Ole!"

"Whoa, transvestite, back off! Wait a minute... Pre-op or post-op?"

"So, you ladies ever been penetrated?"

"Giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity!"

"You must be this beautiful to ride the Quagmire."

"Oh, Lois, I'd do everything to you."

"Mom if you want this three-way to happen, you're gonna have to change your tone."

"You must be a parking ticket, cuz you got fine written all over you."

"Hi, Meg. Eighteen yet?"

"Soccer moms all right! Giggity, giggity, giggity!"

"If I could change the alphabet I would put 'U' and 'I' together."

[J. Falcon]

Originally Posted by polish_aristocrat

You run an escort site and you ask this question?

[Scootermuze]

An old couple sittin' on the porch.. The Mrs. turns and slaps the Hell out of the hubby.. He says, "Well what did ya do that for?" She says, "For 50 years of bad sex!" .. He thought a minute, then turned and punched her in the nose.. She says, "Well what did ya do that for?" He says, "For knowin' the difference!"

I just felt that appropriate for this thread..

[modelscanada]

its easy just talk to them

[Barefootsies]

Originally Posted by polish_aristocrat

You run an escort site and you ask this question?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[shekinah]

Just be your self, need not to be vain..If you're in a bar, just ask a girl to dance with you, sure she'll not resist then offer her a drink

[IllTestYourGirls]

go to bars or clubs. EARLY. Then you see who shows up and judge how many drinks they have had.

[Colonel_Angus]

1. Give her a compliment on something other than her looks. "Wow, you seem like a really confident and smart girl. I like that."

2. Be honest about your intentions. "I want to get to know you better. Come hang out with me on Sunday."

[MrLuvr]

And the number 1 answer..

- Get a DOG!

I mean the animal dog, not a female! If you walk around with a cute dog, women will come and talk to you! You won't even have to initiate.

Try it. Satisfaction Guaranteed.

[bestlife]

bullshit....get a baby...women's like babes a lot...garantied succes

[Zayne E.]

I am a single, custodial dad of a 4-year old boy. All I have to do is go to the park, watch him play and take my pick. The hot, single moms all come up to me and chat me up at some point

[nation-x]

Usually you start a conversation... stop thinking about trying to fuck every girl you meet and it shouldn't be too hard... never use one liners... Here is a good start...

You: Hi... my name is ________. What is yours?
Her: A): Oh... Hi... my name is _____. <--- go to step 2
B): Go away.... <-- if this is the answer... leave her be.

You: Can I --
A): buy you a drink
B): get this dance
C): buy you dinner
D): dress you up like Princess Leah and chain you to my bed

[da man]

Originally Posted by CDSmith

*Can you count? Then you better count on spending the night

[Farang]

*Hi, I make more money then you can spend

that's a good one

[Gentle_Ben]

Read "The Game"

[nico-t]

i cant believe the tips on here... never buy a slut you barely know anything, thats the worst move ever... just grind against that ass when shes on the dancefloor, youll be surprised how many of em respond instantly to that by dancing like sex hungry whores against you, when i did that the first couple of times it suprised me, its about a success rate of 7 out of 10 plus its fun ;)

[Barefootsies]

Originally Posted by Zayne E.

I am a single, custodial dad of a 4-year old boy. All I have to do is go to the park, watch him play and take my pick. The hot, single moms all come up to me and chat me up at some point

Exactly.

I take my niece to the park, and schzam. Every time like a charm.

[Grapesoda]

Originally Posted by chartescorts

How? I have no ideas!

really simple... just keep reading GFY... and when ya see hawt
'bitch' walk up and call her a fucking cum slut... she'll be all over ya

[testpie]

Originally Posted by Colonel_Angus

1. Give her a compliment on something other than her looks. "Wow, you seem like a really confident and smart girl. I like that."

2. Be honest about your intentions. "I want to get to know you better. Come hang out with me on Sunday."

Yeah... About #2... Some people like, say, me, are too honest about our intentions...

Me: "Hi! We've just met, and to be honest, I'd really like to bend you over the kitchen counter and fuck the living shit out of you before proceeding to cook a fry-up, eat you out of house and home, and then come back and fuck you some more. Game?"
Her: "...Didn't I already get a restraining order against you?"

[alby_persignup]

Originally Posted by Jarmusch

I usually go like..

"Hey baby, wanna do it? uh huh uh uh huh"

ahahaahhahahah!!!!!

[dynastoned]

just say hi, smile, and don't be a douche. you can't fuck it up unless you're hideous looking.

[Adultnet]

Originally Posted by testpie

Yeah... About #2... Some people like, say, me, are too honest about our intentions...

Me: "Hi! We've just met, and to be honest, I'd really like to bend you over the kitchen counter and fuck the living shit out of you before proceeding to cook a fry-up, eat you out of house and home, and then come back and fuck you some more. Game?"
Her: "...Didn't I already get a restraining order against you?"

Thats cool way to start a small talk

[Brother Bilo]

Start with hi, and then be funny, if you can pull it off. Make fun of yourself in a sarcastic way and then keep her laughing. She'll laugh all the way to your dick.

[jonesonyou]

I thought myspace was for this shit.

[polish_aristocrat]

Originally Posted by Brother Bilo

Start with hi, and then be funny, if you can pull it off. Make fun of yourself in a sarcastic way and then keep her laughing. She'll laugh all the way to your dick.

she'll probably keep laughing if she sees the dick...

[_Richard_]

why, o why, would you ask here?

[silvercash amber]

liston to wat they have to say

[Brother Bilo]

Originally Posted by polish_aristocrat

she'll probably keep laughing if she sees the dick...

Don't listen to the nay sayers like this douche. It's gold Jerry....Gold!!!!

[frostyimpressions]

Originally Posted by modelscanada

its easy just talk to them

As a girl I have to agree wholeheartedly with this one. As cliche as this sounds, just be yourself and talk to them.

[sinclair]

Buy them shots, lots and lots of shots. I usually start out with something girly like a soco and lime, then some washington apples, then a minderaser or two. If your tolerance is good at the end of the night, and you are the last guy standing and you have your pick of the litter.

Think of it as a Lion hanging out with the gazelles and getting them drunk. Saves a lot of running and chasing and all that predator shit.

[Casa Nova]

Go purchase the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss.... then go to www.mysterymethod.com and read the forums... you're just an AFC

[Sosa]

You don't have to talk to the escorts

[seeric]

the only way is to be yourself

women can smell a game a mile away.

more men need to learn how to drive their personalities instead of their fancy cars and bank accounts.

2cents.

[CarlosTheGaucho]

I don't know, I guess the less you think about it the better chance you have.

It is funny because there was a really long time when I was really shy and always had huge problems beeing natural with Girls at the High School and it was more or less a tragicomedy (sometimes I do even today when I really care about the one).

And it really took its peak as I drank about a half liter of metaxa when sixteen and called the girl I was looking for at about 1AM, that was in the days when there were no cell phones yet (or they weighed about 3 pounds and you could not speak longer than like half an hour until the battery dried up)

I made an complete ass of myself cause I woke up the whole family, she went to the phone but I can't really recall what I said to her, I guess it was far from beeing sane.

So the next day you have this huge guilty feeling you feel like an idiot. So I prepaired a really long letter of apologize and it was really honest and I thought she will either start to care or at least I will know that it doesn't make sense anymore.

It took me like half an hour before I picked up the phone and dialed the number, there is this sexy voice on the other end and I am reading my seven times revised speech.

I finished up and she seems to be very touched I am nervous again, saying good night and I feel great and looking for the next morning when I have the feeling she finally started to care.

First thing next morning is that one of my classmates that lived at the same block and was a great friend with her tells that me the whole heartbreaking speech that I hold was her mother on the other end! Well all finished up bad and I felt fucked up for a really long time.

[tranza]

Lol, this thread is funny and sad at the same time!!

[Pim(P)]

Buy a bottle of pheromones