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Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
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05-29-2008, 03:09 PM
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#1 |
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Tap into MOBILE!
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 11,779
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Chuck Norris Jokes - Post your Fav.
When Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the Earth down
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05-29-2008, 03:11 PM
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#2 |
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Tap into MOBILE!
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 11,779
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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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05-29-2008, 03:13 PM
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#3 |
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♥♥♥ Likes Hugs ♥♥♥
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: /home
Posts: 15,841
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When the boogeyman goes to bed, he has his mom check his closet for Chuck Norris.
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I like pie. |
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05-29-2008, 03:15 PM
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: 1123,6536,5231
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05-29-2008, 03:15 PM
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#5 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 2,082
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Chuck Norris doesn't read the Bible, he stares it down until it talks.
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05-29-2008, 03:16 PM
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#6 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2005
Location: What the deuce?!
Posts: 2,214
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The atom bomb isn’t real.. It’s just Chuck falling out a plane and punching the ground...
Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse a horse is hung like him.. |
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05-29-2008, 03:16 PM
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#7 | |
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Tap into MOBILE!
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Location: Hollywood
Posts: 11,779
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Quote:
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05-29-2008, 03:19 PM
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#8 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Rare Design Lab
Posts: 674
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity..... twice!
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05-29-2008, 03:22 PM
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#9 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: I live in cage
Posts: 4,193
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Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make him drink.
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05-29-2008, 03:29 PM
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#10 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Tempe
Posts: 211
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You can't forget the family guy one:
Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin, just another fist!
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05-29-2008, 03:37 PM
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#11 |
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I'm Lenny2 Bitch
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: On top of my soapbox
Posts: 13,449
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song
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05-29-2008, 03:38 PM
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#12 |
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Formerly known as DH! :)
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 20,911
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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05-29-2008, 03:39 PM
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#13 |
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I'm Lenny2 Bitch
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: On top of my soapbox
Posts: 13,449
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Chuck Norris walked into Burger King and ordered a Big Mac.....and got one.
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05-29-2008, 03:41 PM
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#14 |
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Confirmed User
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I used to love chuck jokes until I found out what a backwoods bible beater he is.
It was a sad day.
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05-29-2008, 03:41 PM
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#15 |
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I'm Lenny2 Bitch
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: On top of my soapbox
Posts: 13,449
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If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
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05-29-2008, 03:43 PM
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#16 |
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I'm Lenny2 Bitch
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: On top of my soapbox
Posts: 13,449
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Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
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05-29-2008, 03:44 PM
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#17 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 241
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Quote:
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IcyCube 453399053 GetIcy AT Gmail.com |
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05-29-2008, 03:44 PM
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#18 |
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Confirmed User
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Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 3,271
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is always hiding.
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05-29-2008, 03:46 PM
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Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2005
Location: What the deuce?!
Posts: 2,214
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05-29-2008, 03:47 PM
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#20 |
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Confirmed User
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: The Bird, AZ
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Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure. Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas when he goes to sleep. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
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Icq- 470-936-598 
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05-29-2008, 03:47 PM
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#21 |
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I'm Lenny2 Bitch
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: On top of my soapbox
Posts: 13,449
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Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.
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05-29-2008, 03:51 PM
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#22 |
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It's coming look busy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn".
Posts: 35,299
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Visit google and type in find chuck norris and click im feeling lucky.
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05-29-2008, 03:56 PM
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#23 |
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I'm Lenny2 Bitch
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: On top of my soapbox
Posts: 13,449
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Funniest one yet IMO.
Google "find chuck norris" and click "I'm feeling lucky" and you get 
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05-29-2008, 03:57 PM
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#24 |
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All Your Design Needs
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lolz these never get old to me
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05-29-2008, 05:51 PM
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#25 | |
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Confirmed User
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05-29-2008, 06:44 PM
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#26 | |
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null
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Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 9,820
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05-29-2008, 08:15 PM
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#27 |
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I need a beer
 
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠
Posts: 133,919
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Har har..some of those are good
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05-29-2008, 09:03 PM
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#28 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
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Chuck Norris’s penis is so big that it has a penis of its own and it is still bigger than yours.
Chuck Norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman lives When Chuck Norris jumps in a pool he doesn’t get wet, water gets Chuck Norris'd. What is the quickest way to mans heart? Chuck Norris’s fist. Chuck Norris pees in a can and sells it as redbull. God wanted to create the world in 10 days… Chuck Norris gave him 6. A stagnant pile of Chuck Norris's feces turns into diamonds after 2 days The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
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05-29-2008, 09:13 PM
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#29 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
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Just found these...
No girl ever fucked Chuck Norris without getting at least 15 stitches. In his free time, Chuck Norris knits sweaters. But when I say “knit”, I mean kick. And when I say “sweaters”, I mean babies. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
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05-29-2008, 09:58 PM
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#30 | |
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Talk Hard
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,413
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Quote:
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05-29-2008, 10:03 PM
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#32 |
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Talk Hard
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,413
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Sloth from the movie "The Goonies", his face is the result of just the wind from one of Chuck Norris's roundhouse kicks!
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05-29-2008, 11:48 PM
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#33 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 863
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lol awesome
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05-30-2008, 12:01 AM
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#34 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 250
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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
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05-30-2008, 12:11 AM
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#35 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: World
Posts: 31,017
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hehe,i love this jokes
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05-30-2008, 06:13 AM
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#36 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Montréal Rock City!
Posts: 841
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If you spell Chuck Norris at Scrabble, you win, forever.
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Marie Eve Program Manager PremiumCash.com ICQ: 201.391.139 [email protected] See Who The Fuck I Am At AdultWhosWho.com! 
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05-30-2008, 06:25 AM
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#37 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 215
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Quote:
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Promote AWE - Earn More. $100 Signup Bonus! - Tons Of Promo Tools AWEmpire.com - Your Best Live Webcam Affiliate Program  |
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05-30-2008, 08:32 AM
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#38 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 181
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05-30-2008, 08:43 AM
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#39 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arizona
Posts: 785
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Funny stuff... Thx
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05-30-2008, 08:46 AM
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#40 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Andorra
Posts: 370
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Funny.
I didn't know there were so many jokes about him going around. 
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05-30-2008, 09:18 AM
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#41 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Here There and Everywhere
Posts: 5,477
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That's a good one
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05-30-2008, 10:14 AM
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#42 | ||
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 17,743
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Quote:
Quote:
------------------- Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycle Bin. Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter. Chuck Norris doesn't get the belt, the belt get Chuck Norris.
__________________
 ~Accepting design works~
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05-30-2008, 10:25 AM
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#43 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: SD/OC/LA
Posts: 1,917
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when the hulk gets angry he turns into chuck norris!
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  Warriors come out to plaAAaayyy! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= |
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05-30-2008, 10:27 AM
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#44 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: I live in cage
Posts: 4,193
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Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter!
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05-30-2008, 10:28 AM
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#45 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Stinkin' up your bathroom
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05-30-2008, 10:29 AM
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#46 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: SD/OC/LA
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Quote:
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Warriors come out to plaAAaayyy! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= |
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05-30-2008, 10:34 AM
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#47 |
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Little Vienna
Posts: 32,235
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And all this beacuse on unrealistic ranger walker....
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05-30-2008, 12:22 PM
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#48 |
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keep walking...
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,177
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bruce lee kicks chuck norris's ass anytime!
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05-30-2008, 12:26 PM
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#49 |
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Jesus loves bacon
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Sin City, Motherfucker
Posts: 19,969
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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep...he waits...
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Support my new movie “The Second Coming” |
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05-30-2008, 12:30 PM
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#50 |
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So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
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