Do you still love your significant other? - Page 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

Barefootsies · 03-19-2009, 10:56 PM

Fiddy People Pondering a Fiddy Percent Divorce Rate.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertine

Interesting fact: the physical component of being in love typically lasts about 2 years. Only after that do relationships really get tested seriously.

Agreed. It appears to be something in mammals all go through this.

I remember there was a book on it. It more a less talked about the 'in love' part people want as the 'honeymoon stages' and 2-3 years in you move to the 'maintenance stage'. Kids, bills, live together, etc..

When a lot of relationship turn to maintenance, they fail.

Libertine · 03-19-2009, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barefootsies

Agreed. It appears to be something in mammals all go through this.

I remember there was a book on it. It more a less talked about the 'in love' part people want as the 'honeymoon stages' and 2-3 years in you move to the 'maintenance stage'. Kids, bills, live together, etc..

When a lot of relationship turn to maintenance, they fail.

And that's why opposites may attract, but rarely last. After those first few years, compatibility in views is essential for a lasting relationship.

What's interesting is that in the first few years, men are more likely to leave than women are, but after that, women are more likely to leave than men are. Which suggests that the feeling of being "in love" is more important to women, while attachment is more important to men.

Barefootsies · 03-19-2009, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertine

And that's why opposites may attract, but rarely last. After those first few years, compatibility in views is essential for a lasting relationship.

What's interesting is that in the first few years, men are more likely to leave than women are, but after that, women are more likely to leave than men are. Which suggests that the feeling of being "in love" is more important to women, while attachment is more important to men.

Great way of putting it.

Women chasing that 'romance' sold in movies, mags and television.

xxweekxx · 03-19-2009, 11:09 PM

ya i think staying with someone who u have similar interests with is VERY important.. ive been with girls where we had nothing in common.. yeah they are great but i want a chic who will see horror movies with me.. go bungee jumping with me.. skydive with me.. rollercoaster with me..

hmm do such girls exist?

Barefootsies · 03-19-2009, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxweekxx

ya i think staying with someone who u have similar interests with is VERY important.. ive been with girls where we had nothing in common.. yeah they are great but i want a chic who will see horror movies with me.. go bungee jumping with me.. skydive with me.. rollercoaster with me..

hmm do such girls exist?

Yep. They are out there.

Eliminate your high standards in physical beauty, and you can find just about anyone.

Libertine · 03-19-2009, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxweekxx

ya i think staying with someone who u have similar interests with is VERY important.. ive been with girls where we had nothing in common.. yeah they are great but i want a chic who will see horror movies with me.. go bungee jumping with me.. skydive with me.. rollercoaster with me..

hmm do such girls exist?

Yep, they exist. I actually used to know one. She liked horror movies, bungee jumping, skydiving, metal, surfing, and bringing her boyfriend beers while he played video games.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone as gutted as her boyfriend was when she left him.

fuzzylogic · 03-20-2009, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barefootsies

Yep. They are out there.

Eliminate your high standards in physical beauty, and you can find just about anyone.

that's a BIG problem in my life.
i have been with some beautiful women, the tops in social circles back when i was cruising them and they were BORING, but i am still driven towards those types. hard.

but ya, i have found the opposite.

makes me wonder whats more important. a healthy and strong mind and heart or a top sex bunny arm candy. since i have been unable to see both qualities in one person, i wonder if i can have both in two different girls at the same time.

fuzzylogic · 03-20-2009, 12:41 AM

but ya, i still love my significant others - past and present (and future?). i have had a few and i love them all deeply. they impacted my life in dramatic, positive ways and i own my current shape and form to them.

we're all here to help make each other better people.

03-20-2009, 12:44 AM

Yes I love my husband Greg. I am very lucky to have such a wonderful husband. He has been there for me in good times and bad.

PSSuperstars · 03-20-2009, 12:50 AM

TO the men who are unhappy...
Does your wife have low self esteem? No outlet for herself?

Very few women are just natural cunts... A lot are just cunts because they hate something about themselves... then point the finger at you...

And also to whoever said opposites attrack.. THEY MOST DEFINITELY Do..

I'm type A personality. Work all the time. Talk all the time. Positive. Bouncy. Giggly. Always on the go hyper... Ambitious as fuck.

He's VERY chill... not like toking it up or sucking on a bong chill.. but close...

I find that women who never find themselves.. or their "calling" are miserable in marriages... and slowly start to give less and less..

Luckily hubby and I made it through my "finding myself" years...
But some women never do... and just become bitter and sad.

And then the men rebel against this activity.. and stop trying..

My best marriage advice...
GIVE YOUR ALL for 2 weeks. Wake up in the morning and think, "What can I do to make my significant other happy.."

Do it for 2 weeks.
Even if you have to fake it.
Whether it be cleaning... going to their restaurants... faking like you're listening... good sex... do it. Give in for 2 weeks.

If your partner doesn't start reciprocating after two weeks...
It's over.
Get a divorce.

Usually there's a stalemate.. both stop trying.. and the only way to break out of it.. is for one to suck up their pride... and start trying again.. and if it triggers a chain reaction.. GREAT.. if not.. get the fuck out of the relationship and find someone worthwhile...

qxm · 03-20-2009, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Libertine

Yep, they exist. I actually used to know one. She liked horror movies, bungee jumping, skydiving, metal, surfing, and bringing her boyfriend beers while he played video games.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone as gutted as her boyfriend was when she left him.

wow... sounds like wife material to me ..

xxweekxx · 03-20-2009, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by qxm

wow... sounds like wife material to me ..

ya i have fucking high standards.. all my gfs have been good eye candy but they are either boring or just plain suck..

meh i keep getting tired of girls easily.. one part of me thinks im just born to be with lotta women.. another part tells me its cause i havent found a girl thats worth it..

what do you guys think

ps.. can u love your gf and still cheat on her? i mean if ur cheating on ur gf does that mean u dont care??

PSSuperstars · 03-20-2009, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxweekxx

ya i have fucking high standards.. all my gfs have been good eye candy but they are either boring or just plain suck..

meh i keep getting tired of girls easily.. one part of me thinks im just born to be with lotta women.. another part tells me its cause i havent found a girl thats worth it..

what do you guys think

ps.. can u love your gf and still cheat on her? i mean if ur cheating on ur gf does that mean u dont care??

Are you looking for a girl who is the same level as you?

Like I'm probably a 5-6 in terms of regular chicks... I'm probably an 8-9 for a BBW...
Hubby's probably a 6-7... but loves curvy chicks... so it evens out. And that's just in the looks dept...

I find that some dudes expect 8, 9, 10s... with their general body types, heights, hair color..
But they're like 4,5,6s...

Sometimes until you're real with your expectations.. you'll never meet someone...

are you dating stupid chicks who are a few numbers above you??
Have you tried dating in your own numbers?

Or going for brains first?

PSSuperstars · 03-20-2009, 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxweekxx

ps.. can u love your gf and still cheat on her? i mean if ur cheating on ur gf does that mean u dont care??

Unless she's giving you permission to cheat..
then no..
You can't still love her and cheat..

Now if she's the mother of your child... you can love her in THAT way... and if you cheat it just means you're a dick..

snowywhite · 03-20-2009, 01:20 AM

A relationship without a good argument/fight once in a while isn't a good relationship.
Because when you don't argue, you don't care...

xxweekxx · 03-20-2009, 01:57 AM

umm well this isnt about how i look.. its about the fact i want my gf to be at least a solid 8.. i have no problems finding them either.. haha maybe im not great looking but im funny as fuck and know how to get the ladies.. problem is after a yr or so their prettyness phases out and im looking for a new girl

Quote:

Originally Posted by PSSuperstars

Are you looking for a girl who is the same level as you?

Like I'm probably a 5-6 in terms of regular chicks... I'm probably an 8-9 for a BBW...
Hubby's probably a 6-7... but loves curvy chicks... so it evens out. And that's just in the looks dept...

I find that some dudes expect 8, 9, 10s... with their general body types, heights, hair color..
But they're like 4,5,6s...

Sometimes until you're real with your expectations.. you'll never meet someone...

are you dating stupid chicks who are a few numbers above you??
Have you tried dating in your own numbers?

Or going for brains first?

Vicious_B · 03-20-2009, 05:56 AM

I am still crazy in love with my boyfriend. He is actually the first person I have ever been with that I pretty much tell everything too. We are still really affectionate with each other and people often comment that we seem like people that just started dating with all the kissing and casual touching we do.

HCBabes · 03-20-2009, 06:12 AM

Been with my wife for 10 years now and still feel the same way about her as I did when we were just dating. She's gone from a very petite 19yo cutie to a beautiful 29yo, still very petite, mother of 3 right before my eyes and I know even if she had gained 50 lbs I'd still love her. She has always stood behind me on anything I've done or wanted to do and has never burdened me or made me question the reasons why I married her. We never have any real arguments... Hell, there's rarely a time that we disagree. I am where I am today because of having a woman I love me and 3 great kids being the driving force behind me.... So sure, I still love my wife.

Paul Markham · 03-20-2009, 08:23 AM

More so than when we met over 11 years ago.

It has been a tough 9 months and might get tougher, but our love holds us together.

UFGators2007 · 03-20-2009, 09:10 AM

Yep...still in love.

xxweekxx · 03-20-2009, 05:42 PM

hcbabes are you guys similar or different

sexandcash · 03-20-2009, 05:48 PM

1,000 times yes

SarahLLO · 03-20-2009, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snowywhite

A relationship without a good argument/fight once in a while isn't a good relationship.
Because when you don't argue, you don't care...

This sort of attitude is fucked up. Not everyone craves drama or thinks that a relationship has to be like a soap opera come to life to be fulfilling.

I try and surround myself with people who are a lot more laid back and willing to talk about shit rationally if it bothers them... thus why my boyfriend and I have been together years and have fought only a handful of times... or why my best friend and I were able to live together for so long and never fight or damage the friendship at all... there's no point to escalating shit to big, dramatic blowouts when you can just be up front with people when they piss you off or do something that makes you uncomfortable.

I learned this the hard way, after buying into that "you fight because you care" shit for too long... I think that if you care deeply about a relationship, you'd want to fix things in a calm, effective manner, not get all crazy and scream at each other.

HCBabes · 03-20-2009, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxweekxx

hcbabes are you guys similar or different

We are similar in some ways but not many.

Horny Joe · 03-20-2009, 06:41 PM

Most important person in my life! Love her more and more each day, as we are getting closer our goal: starting a family. Married for 3 years

brassmonkey · 03-20-2009, 07:13 PM

yes i do

Heiko · 03-20-2009, 10:46 PM

Nope...

We knew each other for three years before we got married and have been married for almost two years. To be honest, I was never in love with her and only got married out of some stupid sense of responsibility.

She says that she's in love with me and couldn't live without me, and I believe it. Every day she showers me with affection and does everything I could ever want her to do, but even so, I've found that I'm much more relaxed and comfortable when she's not around.

Meanwhile, I'm patiently planning my exit... she's a couple of years away from finishing a degree and I figure I'll stuck around until then and then that's it, I'm done. I've only got one life to live and I'd rather be alone than with someone who I'm not comfortable with.

Thank god I've got an iron-clad prenup...

Spunky · 03-20-2009, 10:52 PM

Being alone with your money isn't what life is supposed to be.plain and simple.greed will consume you

uno · 03-20-2009, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxweekxx

ya i think staying with someone who u have similar interests with is VERY important.. ive been with girls where we had nothing in common.. yeah they are great but i want a chic who will see horror movies with me.. go bungee jumping with me.. skydive with me.. rollercoaster with me..

hmm do such girls exist?

Sounds like my fiance.

Deej · 03-20-2009, 11:37 PM

Mine is pissing me off lately...

LadyMischief · 03-20-2009, 11:45 PM

I absolutely adore my significant other, after 10 years. He is my soul mate, my business partner, my life partner, and my best friend, and I couldn't imagine a life without him in it.

xxweekxx · 03-21-2009, 06:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heiko

Nope...

We knew each other for three years before we got married and have been married for almost two years. To be honest, I was never in love with her and only got married out of some stupid sense of responsibility.

She says that she's in love with me and couldn't live without me, and I believe it. Every day she showers me with affection and does everything I could ever want her to do, but even so, I've found that I'm much more relaxed and comfortable when she's not around.

Meanwhile, I'm patiently planning my exit... she's a couple of years away from finishing a degree and I figure I'll stuck around until then and then that's it, I'm done. I've only got one life to live and I'd rather be alone than with someone who I'm not comfortable with.

Thank god I've got an iron-clad prenup...

sounds like me last yr.. one part of me says omg this is a great girl.. dont leave her.. BUT I ask, is it enough to stay with a girl just cause she loves you and shows you affection, etc..?? I always thought you have to be in love with her too..

If you had a chance, would you cheat on this girl?

Heiko · 03-21-2009, 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxweekxx

sounds like me last yr.. one part of me says omg this is a great girl.. dont leave her.. BUT I ask, is it enough to stay with a girl just cause she loves you and shows you affection, etc..?? I always thought you have to be in love with her too..

If you had a chance, would you cheat on this girl?

Interesting question...

I haven't yet, mainly because I haven't looked for it, but if the opportunity arises, I probably would, but I'd definitely keep it extremely discreet.

Don't get me wrong, I care for her and don't want to hurt her, but I'm just not in love and can't imagine staying with her for the rest of my life. I feel like I have an obligation to help her out (that stupid sense of responsibility again) and so will stick around until she's finished her degree and can stand on her own two feet, but then I'll have to send her on her way...

The worst part is this is my second marriage, strike two, and I highly doubt there will a third. I'm going to take the Professor's (Tom Leykis) teachings to heart and stay single. There's really no benefit for a guy to be married. It's way easier to get out of a relationship when there's no contract involved.

Whereas my current marriage is based on common likes and dislikes, and is more of a cerebral connection, the first marriage was based on pure animalistic sexual attraction and that shit faded quickly and she became a total bitch to live with. I had no choice but to get rid of her, we would have ended up killing each other.

For the car lovers out there, the best analogy I can make is that my first wife was like a super hot sports car that ran like shit and constantly broke down, and the second wife is like a practical family sedan that has all the features you could ever want and will run forever.

I went from one extreme to the other and haven't found that sweet spot between the two that works for me...

All I can do is thank the heavens that there haven't been any kids from either marriage.

03-19-2009, 11:09 PM	#54
xxweekxx Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 6,780	ya i think staying with someone who u have similar interests with is VERY important.. ive been with girls where we had nothing in common.. yeah they are great but i want a chic who will see horror movies with me.. go bungee jumping with me.. skydive with me.. rollercoaster with me.. hmm do such girls exist? __________________ _________________ I am the best

03-20-2009, 12:50 AM	#60
PSSuperstars Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 1,477	TO the men who are unhappy... Does your wife have low self esteem? No outlet for herself? Very few women are just natural cunts... A lot are just cunts because they hate something about themselves... then point the finger at you... And also to whoever said opposites attrack.. THEY MOST DEFINITELY Do.. I'm type A personality. Work all the time. Talk all the time. Positive. Bouncy. Giggly. Always on the go hyper... Ambitious as fuck. He's VERY chill... not like toking it up or sucking on a bong chill.. but close... I find that women who never find themselves.. or their "calling" are miserable in marriages... and slowly start to give less and less.. Luckily hubby and I made it through my "finding myself" years... But some women never do... and just become bitter and sad. And then the men rebel against this activity.. and stop trying.. My best marriage advice... GIVE YOUR ALL for 2 weeks. Wake up in the morning and think, "What can I do to make my significant other happy.." Do it for 2 weeks. Even if you have to fake it. Whether it be cleaning... going to their restaurants... faking like you're listening... good sex... do it. Give in for 2 weeks. If your partner doesn't start reciprocating after two weeks... It's over. Get a divorce. Usually there's a stalemate.. both stop trying.. and the only way to break out of it.. is for one to suck up their pride... and start trying again.. and if it triggers a chain reaction.. GREAT.. if not.. get the fuck out of the relationship and find someone worthwhile... __________________ Porn's Best Kept Secret : PSOCash.com : Make Money Promoting Phone Sex in Members Areas, TGPs, and MORE! : Lifetime 30% Payout *Best Webcam Referral Payouts*

03-20-2009, 01:20 AM	#65
snowywhite Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Geneva Posts: 188	A relationship without a good argument/fight once in a while isn't a good relationship. Because when you don't argue, you don't care... __________________ Not the first and not the last! But never leaving...

03-20-2009, 05:56 AM	#67
Vicious_B Confirmed User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 2,564	I am still crazy in love with my boyfriend. He is actually the first person I have ever been with that I pretty much tell everything too. We are still really affectionate with each other and people often comment that we seem like people that just started dating with all the kissing and casual touching we do. __________________ ICQ# 419 775 271

03-20-2009, 06:12 AM	#68
HCBabes Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: In A Nutshell Posts: 136	Been with my wife for 10 years now and still feel the same way about her as I did when we were just dating. She's gone from a very petite 19yo cutie to a beautiful 29yo, still very petite, mother of 3 right before my eyes and I know even if she had gained 50 lbs I'd still love her. She has always stood behind me on anything I've done or wanted to do and has never burdened me or made me question the reasons why I married her. We never have any real arguments... Hell, there's rarely a time that we disagree. I am where I am today because of having a woman I love me and 3 great kids being the driving force behind me.... So sure, I still love my wife. __________________ Get $30 for each free cams signup you send.

03-20-2009, 12:41 AM	#58
fuzzylogic Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: buffalo, las vegas. icq: 285808879 Posts: 4,796	but ya, i still love my significant others - past and present (and future?). i have had a few and i love them all deeply. they impacted my life in dramatic, positive ways and i own my current shape and form to them. we're all here to help make each other better people.

03-20-2009, 12:44 AM	#59
JaneB Guest Posts: n/a	Yes I love my husband Greg. I am very lucky to have such a wonderful husband. He has been there for me in good times and bad.

03-20-2009, 08:23 AM	#69
Paul Markham Too old to care Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws. Posts: 52,943	More so than when we met over 11 years ago. It has been a tough 9 months and might get tougher, but our love holds us together. __________________ Blowout deal. 880 videos, 2,400 image sets, plus many RAW videos. $500. PM me for a deal. Skype Paulmarkham70

03-20-2009, 09:10 AM	#70
UFGators2007 Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 1,739	Yep...still in love. __________________ "I use the Google to pull up maps."

03-20-2009, 05:42 PM	#71
xxweekxx Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 6,780	hcbabes are you guys similar or different __________________ _________________ I am the best

03-20-2009, 05:48 PM	#72
sexandcash Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California Posts: 1,566	1,000 times yes __________________ SexandCash ICQ: 490-947-295

03-20-2009, 06:41 PM	#75
Horny Joe Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Online Posts: 2,661	Most important person in my life! Love her more and more each day, as we are getting closer our goal: starting a family. Married for 3 years __________________ The Very Best Teen Content! Make $$$$ - Join DIESEL ACTION for Great Teen content

03-20-2009, 07:13 PM	#76
brassmonkey Pay It Forward Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yo Mama House Posts: 76,934	yes i do __________________ TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - Support The Laken Riley Act!!! END DACA - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

03-20-2009, 10:46 PM	#77
Heiko Registered User Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Kansas City Posts: 84	Nope... We knew each other for three years before we got married and have been married for almost two years. To be honest, I was never in love with her and only got married out of some stupid sense of responsibility. She says that she's in love with me and couldn't live without me, and I believe it. Every day she showers me with affection and does everything I could ever want her to do, but even so, I've found that I'm much more relaxed and comfortable when she's not around. Meanwhile, I'm patiently planning my exit... she's a couple of years away from finishing a degree and I figure I'll stuck around until then and then that's it, I'm done. I've only got one life to live and I'd rather be alone than with someone who I'm not comfortable with. Thank god I've got an iron-clad prenup...

03-20-2009, 10:52 PM	#78
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,919	Being alone with your money isn't what life is supposed to be.plain and simple.greed will consume you __________________ *Skype : Spunky GFY*

03-20-2009, 11:37 PM	#80
Deej I make pixels work Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I live here... Posts: 24,386	Mine is pissing me off lately... __________________ Deej's Designs n' What Not Hit me up for Design, CSS & Photo Retouching Icq#30096880

03-20-2009, 11:45 PM	#81
LadyMischief Orgasms N Such! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Oakville, Ontario Posts: 18,135	I absolutely adore my significant other, after 10 years. He is my soul mate, my business partner, my life partner, and my best friend, and I couldn't imagine a life without him in it. __________________ ICQ 3522039 Content Manager - orgasm.com [email protected]